Beautifully Damaged.

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Is the sun setting or is the sun rising? It depends on your perception.

SELF-DISCLOSURE: I think this might be the most personal post I will ever publish about myself on the internet. This is actually a part of me that I have difficulty disclosing because I feel a tremendous amount of shame. However, I am learning to embrace myself as a whole in order to live fully.

My thoughts have been my demons for the longest time. Sometimes I feel helpless and out of control when all my intrusive thoughts come flooding in. In the past, I wasn’t very aware of them or let alone equipped to manage them on my own. I was and still might be immature in how I perceive people, things, events, and life. I have a tendency to ruminate on my flaws and personal problems. Also, I have a tendency to pretend that I am strong in order to “fix” them immediately.

After spending time to reflect, I can reframe my distortions and be at peace. Ultimately, my thoughts are my worldview. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by all my thoughts and ideas. However, I am responsible for how I perceive my thoughts. And although I can be immature, I am aware and constantly learning to understand people things, events, and life through a wider lens. Rumination has been a way for me to process and confront my problems. It has constantly been a struggle, but I’ve been trying to slow down and remind myself it’s fine to not have everything all together.

The only thing you sometimes have control over is perspective. You don’t have control over your situation. But you have a choice about how you view it.”

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